If you don't want out and out break the rules, how about "Hello DD, how was your day? Did you visit the 1st-3rd grade room today? No? Why not?" Then wait a few days and ask again. You're not telling her to go but you are letting her know that it's OK to go but you're not telling her to go...wink wink wink.
And DEFINITELY arrange a playdate w/ some of the 1st-3rd grade girls. Then you can say, "Oh did you see Julie in the 1st-3rd grade room today?"
Now not everyday, you don't want to pressure her if she's emotionally not ready but if you ask her why not in this scenario, the answer could be telling.
