Hi Cym,
Now that DS13 is 13, you do have to stand back a bit and let him make some mistakes. I'm not sure that a "whole year of learning" is in itself such a big deal. My feeling about Mistakes is that we all make them, and if we don't then we aren't really dealing with "large enough" issues.
So the question is "How can you get as much parental milage from this current situation you all find yourselves in?"
Here are some ideas:
1) Teach that mistakes are valuable, particularly if one learns from them. My personal approach is Admit it - Access what's been learned - Assess what the resources are availible at this point - Make a New Plan - Follow it - Pray for the Universe to hand you Extra Goodies.
2) Mistakes are sometimes reversable. It's good that you are going to talk to the Principle.
3) I think trying an online course is a good idea in theory, but you can reserve the right to insist that he choose one that isn't offered at this school.
4) Can you make Lemonade out of lemons? High Schools are know for their wonderful extra-curriculars. Many believe that kids learn more that way than in the classroom.
5)You are now his consult to help him plan his Self-Advocacy for next year. Can he take Sophmore Classes this year and next summer and enter as a Junior Next year? What are his options for the future. Can he approach each of his teachers and work out additional challenge? Is it time to consider a Gap Year of some kind?
I wish he could sit on the Sophmore and Junior Classes to get an idea if they will be "enough." Perhaps he is resisting acceleration because the alternatives are just "MOTS" more of the same, and not really a good fit?
You son is bored, is it the dangerous kind of bored, or the fertalizer type, that starts making other activites look better? Develop your own personal guidelines to know if he is triving, surviving, or going under. If he goes under, you move him without his permission. You can talk to him about this process, so that if he is really motivated to stay were he is, he can demonstrate to you that he is really surviving.
Hold on to your hat, dear, the Roller Coaster Called Parenting looks like it's heading for another wild ride!
Love and More Love,
Trinity
