My son with motor dyspraxia and sensory issues deals with a slight fear of doctors and dentists. I share this fear, only mine is more extreme. He knows this because he sat next to me in the waiting room while I waited to have my first checkup in over six years and he saw me shaking uncontrollably, trying to hold back tears because I was terrified that they would find cancer and have to do surgery and I would end up with brain damage like my mother did after her surgery and my son would have to go to a bad public school because I wouldn't be able to homeschool and would need long term care which is very expensive so his dad couldn't afford to send him to college and I just go into all these scenarios like this to the point that my blood pressure goes sky high and I have to take medication. My son is nowhere near this phobic, but it is still a problem.
He has difficulty with things like the "puff" test when he sees the optometrist. It isn't that he refuses to do it, he explains to the person doing the test that he is very sensitive about some things and that he just needs a little extra time. This annoyed the person giving the test and she called over another woman who tried to bully him into trying harder by asking him if he is a baby or a man. He looked at her straight in the eye and smiled and said he would have to say he was somewhere in between. He has had experience with an adult teacher who was verbally abusive and learned early that the best way to deal with them is to speak calmly, look them straight in the eye with a slight smile if you can manage it, use "thought bubbles" in your head and fill them in with what you would really say if you could so that you can stay calm, and never, ever let them see you upset. I think he handles himself very well in these situations, but it makes me so mad that he has to deal with this. The optometrist overheard it and said he could use a different test on him. He was really good about taking the time to explain what he was doing and patiently answered my son's questions and even commented that my son was very observant.
But then we had to go back to the older, verbally bullying woman who had to put drops in my son's eyes to dilate them. My son asked questions about the necessity of the procedure and possible side effects, which annoyed the woman even more. She then told me that most 14 year olds wouldn't know some of the words he was using and she had never had one ask her the kind of questions he was asking. When I told her that he was 10, she expressed her opinion that it was not good for a child to know as much as he did. My son and I just exchanged knowing looks. We have had conversations in the past about some of the people in our small town having "comprehension" issues and we know that we are wasting our time if we try to talk to these people so we just have to let it go and move on.
Tomorrow we have to go the dentist and I worry that it will be a similar experience.
I have been trying to get an appointment with the developmental pediatrician so we can possibly get help for the phobias, a second opinion about the motor dyspraxia, and maybe get a referral for OT or PT, but the waiting list is very long and we will probably have to wait a few more months. I also need a doctor to write his opinion on what my son should be able to do and not do for Boy
Scouts next year. I don't know if my son will ever be able to do a 10 mile hike that I think is required. The scout leaders told us they can change the requirements if we can get a statement from the doctor.
Anybody else with this phobia or are we the only ones?
