Prism -
I'm so glad that posting helped you feel better. I'll respond as best I can in the hopes that you'll feel less alone and panicy knowing that WE are out here. (wink)
What is it about your daughter that makes you feel she is vunerable to a low test score? Does she feel that her worth is "all about" her intelligence? Does she feel that intelligence equals test scores?
I get a little nuts about test scores because there isn't any programing for gifted in my DS10's school. I feel like no one "sees" him. I wave the test scores in their faces - it doesn't seem to make much difference. Your daughter is "walking the walk" she is DOing the math at an upper grade level. I always hoped that "walking the walk" would be enough to show a kid, and everyone else, ok, we've got a Zebra here. We've got to stop planning for "horse."
Remember that old cliche - Pretty is as Pretty does? I think it can be adopted for some of our kids.
DS10 and I have to talk about the difference between "smart" and "gifted" - because his teachers expect a gifted kid to be a perfect student, and though he is a good student, he's far from perfect, and he picks up the dissapointed vibe from his teachers.
He frames his biggest challenge as developing "heart" the persistience to pursue your goal even when it isn't fun. I believe that this is the kind of pursuit that protects him from having self-esteem based on test scores.
Have you read the parenting books of Dr. Sylvia Rimm? I think she would have a lot to say in this department.
I wish I had a stratagy for advocacy, but I don't. I wish you weren't faced with this challenge, but since you are, you might as well use it to "get inside" your daughter's and your own doubts and fears re: value, being judged, tests, self-esteem. Wouldn't it be great for your daughter to "know herself" independent from test scores?
Best Wishes,
Trinity
