Choices can help. Just be sure to limit it to two choices that you can live with. But I had a much easier time with my pushy drama queen son when I let him take more control in his life, and the need for it hit around age 3, so there you go.
I think you're smart to think about it in terms of the big picture, too, HM. Longterm, these can be really good qualities for a person to possess. It's more a matter of channeling them into productivity than anything else.
(Said the very bossy child who grew up to be a bossy adult...)
