Mamabear,
I wasn't wanting to debate either; I am very supportive of your decision to try other options first. I hope that you don't have to go the medication route.
I've been thinking about this for a long time and I guess this is what I want to tell people who are faced with these decisions. For us, when we first went with meds it felt like a failure, like maybe we should still be trying other things. That was discouraging for us, especially for DH who really felt like if he were a better person or if he tried harder, he wouldn't need meds. In fact, he really beat himself up about it. Several years later, we don't see the meds as failure, but reasonable option of last resort. I truly hope your child/spouse doesn't need meds and that you find solutions without side-effects, but if it ultimately comes to meds, be kind to yourself.
Hugs,
Anne