Maybe I left out a fact that's somewhat important...when it comes to essays I go through hell organizing my ideas and choosing my words. In fact, it wasn't a cakewalk writing all of these really long posts, especially when it came to sounding coherent AND including the stuff I wanted to say. Just like in school essays I remembered additional stuff I wanted to say in these posts, only after it was already too late. If we go by what is too late, then I rarely finish in-class essays on time, although I have been able to in college by sacrificing clarity and making "slippery slope" arguments.(which usually work!)
As far as scores on mult choice vs. essay exams... In the past I usually got marked down for not finishing essays so I had a lower maximum # of points I could even earn from the start. Even though the ceiling that existed on essay exams wasn't there for multiple choice ones, I would still score all over the place.
I have gotten to a point where I never think I am prepared for a test because I just don't know if everything will work itself out in my mind. In the past I would study as much as I needed to get something but then when I saw a similar question on a test I would just lock up and not know how to answer it at all. I thought I had test anxiety and taught myself relaxation techniques to not "lock up" in these situations, but now I just stare calmly in confusion at my paper instead of anxiously lol...
The sensation I can liken it to best is having a washing machine in my head. Everything gets moved around at a rate beyond my control, the place something ends up is rarely the same place that I put it to start, and I can't stop it at will and try to get a bearing of where everything is.
I've gotten somewhat dismal about the usefulness of controlling my anxiety; it seems like it doesn't really do much but put me in a better mood. It doesnt improve my ability to think at all. The difference is one of being held at gunpoint when you're calm and when you're tense- either way you're still being held at gunpoint.
I am frugal enough at college to live on about $200 a semester, meaning I have several grand at my disposal which I saved from summer jobs.However, I need to know my chances of actually making improvement before I shell out money to quacks who charge sky high fees to just pass me along to the next guy in the chain.
I have seen three psychologists in the last 10 years,
two of them gave me empty advice, one of those two tried to call me the "Aspergers miracle child" and claim that HE helped cure me(every session he would just lather me in praise..that was a waste of money). The one I see right now was somewhat eccentric as a youth himself, so he has been very useful in gauging the long-term impact of some of my traits. However, he seems to believe that everything I describe are normal glitches that anybody can have. He says they might be a bit more pronounced because of my atypical brain profile.
Jake
