I'm so upset and I don't know where to get answers. Pud's behavior has been awful. I resorted to spanking him yesterday, which I hate to do. He says he doesn't want to mind because he doesn't want to be told what to do. He doesn't want to do certain things (get dressed, brush teeth) because they are boring. I think he is not challenged at school, despite the gradeskip to 3rd. He's making a lot of 90s and 100s without much effort. He doesn't even bring his books home anymore after he brought home his math book one weekend to study for the Monday test but didn't write down what he was supposed to study. Of course, he aced the test and now doesn't think he needs to bring home his books. He fights doing his homework. He fights practicing his piano. He fights getting dressed. He is rebellious and defiant and I'm tired and frustrated and I have not clue what to do. This morning he missed breakfast because he didn't get dressed in time.
I'm trying to figure him out. I'm trying to challenge him. He's reading "The Hobbit" and was doing long division this summer. What I see coming home from school is nowhere near what he needs. He won't try hard things. He won't do easy things. I have no idea what things he needs to challenge him. I don't even know if not being challenged is the problem. Maybe 3rd grade is too much. With the behaviour problems, I can't see us homeschooling. That's just way too much together time. I can't seem to find a good childcare situation. There's a drop-in childcare place but there would be no children his age. We joined a homeschool group but that doesn't seem to be working out. He's either not interested in the events or he won't get his work done so that we can go. And, even if we homeschooled and went to all these events where he could be around other kids, I need time to myself.
I know I sound like a broken record. I just don't know what to do or where to turn. DH isn't any help, in fact, sometimes he makes the problem worse. I don't know how to help any of us. I'm not sure how we got into this situation with our sweet, happy, mellow little guy. What happened to my happy, compliant 4 yo? I know none of you have answers but maybe just getting this off my chest will help. I'm just in tears today because I can't seem to get anywhere.
I took his karate belt away from him 2 weeks ago because he has started hitting and kicking me. His teacher told him he couldn't have it back for a month. The counter starts over if he is physically aggressive again, which he was on Friday. He's very angry and I don't know why. The grade skip? The new school? Daddy and I being gone for 2 weeks this summer? Bored? All of the above? None of the above? Just his personality?
His pyschologist was not much help last spring. I called her about 8 days ago and asked for either an appointment or a name of a behavioural psych who could help us. She has not returned my call. I've read books. I ordered the book about "The Spririted Child" although I've already read it. Maybe having my own copy and rereading it will help. I've been going through the SENG "Parenting Gifted Kids" book and started a class that meets once a week. It seems to only raise more questions.
I feel guilty that I bailed on the public school and didn't push more for accomodations. I feel I gave up. I don't know what to do if this school isn't the answer. I know some of you have said the behavior problems clear up when you homeschool and the child is challenged. I don't know how to make that happen. I've had several things I've wanted to do with him in the afternoons and on Friday (he only goes to school 2 1/2 hours a day 4 days a week) but I either can't get him to mind long enough to do them or he pokes around and takes forever to do his homework (again, it's not hard for him - he's either bored or he's slow). I'm about to give up. But, that's not really an option, is it? You can't give up being a parent. AAAAACCKKKKKKKKK! I don't know what to do. Not sure I should even post this. It all just seems like too much.
Last edited by squirt; 09/22/08 09:48 AM.
