Yeah, I'd tend to go for "this school is not for DS" the moment they make it clear that conformity is the expectation, because that's usually all wrong for any gifted kid. And he has to just lay there like a lump when he's not tired? My DD didn't encounter naps until K, was also not a napper, and she reports she was allowed to color quietly.

Perhaps the school day is too long. Is it a half day or a full day? My DD attended a public pre-K in the Houston area, and it was just a half day... no naps.