I can so identify with your post. We are technically in a GT program, but there are so many politics involved in our district that the program has gone in recent years from school within a school to differentiated instruction.
Some teachers can differentiate and others struggle with it. I have been very involved with the school, and have even been employed by them part time in the past.
I've played the role that you are attempting to play. I've given the teachers supportive, positive feedback but tried to avoid negative comments or complaints. It's been difficult and I'm not always successful at that role.
I've found that it's much more effective at our school to deal directly with the teachers. The administration does not care to address giftedness. THey don't seem to want to acknowledge it at all, probably because of the political situation in our district.
I would ask you if you've noticed any flexibility with your principal in the past or with other families. Is this a principal who is willing to focus on individual children or is he/she more interested in having a well-oiled machine? If your principal is more focused on keeping the faculty happy vs the parents, a conversation may not get you too far. We've had both kinds of principals and that makes all the difference.
I don't see how it could hurt to meet. It could at the very least affect the choice of teacher for your kids. That's maybe the one thing that has been a positive affect of my advocating at our school, that the kids do tend to get placed in classes where the teachers are known for being good at differentiation. I don't think there's a downside to speaking with them, as long as you keep it positive and are sympathetic (or at least appear to be) to the limitations the administration has placed on them by the district.
