Fitzi,
We had a similar problem with the "stop light" discipline in first grade. My DS (now 8) would give Mr. Wiggly a run for his money (or name) at that age. Add to that a dash of highly asynchronous development, rampant boredom, and complete social cluelessness and we did not have an overly fun year for first grade.
All kids started out the day on green. The first warning sent them to yellow, and, yes, there was the public humiliation of having to go up in class and change your card. The next warning sent you to red. They did not take away recess time in first grade. Sometimes there were phone calls home if you had too many reds in one week. And the teacher did provide some positive praise by rewarding the entire class if everyone stayed on green. I believe that she made some form of chain with giant paper clips, with each day that all of the kids stayed on green earning one clip. When the chain reached from the ceiling to the floor, the class got to have some form of special treat... a movie day, party or special treats.
The problem that I had with it was that the other kids in the class very quickly decided that my DS, who was viewed as outside of the norm anyway, was someone that they could pick on and "tattle" for an imaginary crime to send him to yellow or red. Now, I don't believe that my kid was a perfect saint and that every card change was another kid's fault. But there were several girls in the class who delighted in getting my son to change his card. I volunteered quite regularly in the classroom and observed it happening. By the end of the year, they were telling the teacher that he was saying swear words in class when he didn't know any swear words. So the policy has some definite holes in it that a non-observant teacher can fall for. And this particular teacher took any accusation ("Teacher, Little Johnny pushed me!") as absolute gospel. She did not have to witness it in order to send a kid up in front of the class for public humiliation. DS lost all respect and gave up on the system after having to change his card for something that he did not do.
"I cannot tolerate disrespect towards me or the other children." I was taken aback by this comment and tone, and have since been trying to understand her severity.
Oh my, fitzi!!! I would ask why a simple infraction like that is disrespectful to herself or the other children? I would counter that this is a kid testing boundaries, and now he knows that this was inappropriate. Kids learn by making mistakes like that. <one of Kriston's famous shrugs needed here!
> And it is the teacher's duty to gently teach boundaries and discipline, as well as reading and math. (without getting their knickers is a knot!) Now if it happens repeatedly, then I would say that, yes, it would be an issue of disrespect. But not on a single occurrence. And I would add that most kids are inherently respectful until the situation (or teacher) causes them to lose that respect. And for most gifted kids, a lack of truth, justice, or fairness in a system is the fastest way for them to lose respect.
