So, so awesome spaghetti! Your DS is an inspiration.
My DD started requesting to attend meetings in 4th grade because she was convinced "adults make decisions and keep things secret from kids." After a handful of meetings - parent/teacher conferences not IEP meetings - she decided she didn't need or want to attend anymore. I always invited her but she didn't feel it was necessary. Instead she was comfortable giving me her input and questions.
Then this year - 6th grade - she had a couple of incidents where she thought her IEP wasn't being followed and adults in various capacities were behaving inappropriately. She decided she wanted to attend her next IEP meeting because "I want to know exactly what is or isn't in my IEP so I can hold people accountable." She attended a meeting in the fall and was masterful. One of my proudest moments as a parent. She was eloquent and forceful while remaining polite and determined. Everyone in the room was astounded. Very few adults are able to conduct themselves so well let alone an 11 year old child. It put an end to any arguments from the school team that DD had to "learn to self advocate." It also ended speculation that perhaps I was exaggerating her abilities or what was going awry. There were 15 people at the meeting. DD wasn't intimidated in the least.
As of now she wants to continue being an active participant. I can only hope she can be as effective as spaghetti's DS. Bravo!
