After reading The Mislabeled Child, I really don't think he has CAPD, SPD, ADHD or dysgraphia. He can write fine when he wants to and puts effort into it. That is what he is like in general.
I'd be very hesitant to think that you can determine a diagnosis without professional input and testing. I'm not saying that because I doubt any of your own ability or your knowledge of your child, I"m saying that as the parent of a two 2e kids, both of whom have diagnoses that caught me completely off guard and I would not have picked up on in a million years through reading lists of symptoms... even the very same lists of symptoms that go along with their diagnoses
He wants to do what pleases him, wants to study and focus on what he deems to be important. He is willful and stubborn and not motivated by things most kids are - grades, teacher approval, etc.
It's possible that what you're seeing is personality, but it's also possible that what you're seeing is a child who's struggling with a challenge. Each of my 2e kids has at various times appeared to be stubborn, difficult to motivate, seems to be able to accomplish work when they want to, etc. It's beyond impossible sometimes as a parent to tease out whether or not there's something up vs just a kid being just a kid. What you have that may be indicating it's something more than just a stubborn child is a professional diagnosis of ADHD and visual challenges, testing with possibly unexplained discrepancies, and enough concern on your part that you're questioning what's up. Those things combined certainly point to enough questions to follow through with looking into what's going on.
His teacher and the school headmaster feel his underachievement is due to effort. They look at his scores on standardized testing.
One thing you could do is also look at his scores on standardized testing, but look at it through the lens of thinking through how the test is administered, setting, is it timed, would there possibly be a challenge with focus etc. You can ask (not sure you'd be able to get this but you can ask) if he actually finished all the questions and got questions incorrect (therefore lower than expected score), or if he got answers mostly correct but didn't finish (therefore lower than expected score).
right now I am so dizzied up I feel paralyzed and don't know where to start. We know he has the vision issue and executive functioning issues... but not sure what else..
FWIW, either of these issues alone could be causing enough challenges that he's underachieving, not motivated etc.
the EF issues stem from motivation i think....
Your ds is still young... imagine being in his shoes and having your parents and teachers convinced you weren't trying your best... but you were? Until you know for sure that he doesn't have other challenges, and until you know for sure that he's had adequate accommodations for the challenges he's been diagnosed with (ADHD, vision), I'd be very cautious about sending any messages to him that you see him as not motivated. My ds in particular appeared to be totally unmotivated in his 2nd grade classroom prior to diagnosis, and even after we knew what was up, he still often (for years) appeared unmotivated to teachers who didn't understand his challenges. He was quick to pick up on other people perceiving him as not being motivated and it had a really negative impact. You don't know this is the case, but it may be better for now to err on the side of doubt and assume he is motivated but can't complete the tasks he's being given, or can't show his full knowledge. Living with an EF or vision (or other) challenge can be very frustrating for a child, adding in the frustration of thinking that the adults in your life don't see the challenge and see you as non-motivated, and it can be really disheartening.
Hence - my thought process is to get him tested by a 2E specialist (not a local hack) who can point us in the right direction if in fact there are other 2E issues involved...
Although it would be nice to see a professional who deals with 2e, if you don't have access to a 2e specialist, it isn't a make-or-break deal. We live far from any 2e specialists and were able to get meaningful evaluations that recognized both giftedness and challenges. I do think you've gotten good direction from the GDC - you already have one set of testing, and they've given you follow-up recommendations based on the results of the first set of testing, and they're willing to follow-up with you after you've pursued those pieces of the puzzle.
Best wishes,
polarbear
