Hi Jeeves,
I have a gifted DD who just turned 9 and I try to work on those same issues with her.
I try to model and teach empathy wherever possible. 9 and 10 seem like tricky ages so I try to use examples wherever possible. She is a natural leader, is a quick learner, and a club level athlete in several sports. I think the sports are teaching her "grit" (that word of the year)and the leadership she needs. But I will sometimes catch her not being as inclusive with all her friends. It may not be intentional but I point out to her how X action may have been interpreted differently by a certain friend and how she may have felt in that circumstance. She is certainly not very nice to her very loving HG older brother. He's not as naturally athletic as she is and she draws comparisons with him sometimes. He is so supportive of her and she will brush him off constantly...until she needs him to help her with her piano theory. As such, I also try to work with her on being kind to him more often because, as siblings, they need each other's support and when they are older, he will be even a greater resource to her as a friend. It doesn't work most of the time but I'm trying.
I talk to her probably too often about my experiences as a girl her age.
Some books that my DD likes include the Mysterious Benedict Society featuring two very gifted girls who work together with two gifted boys to overcome adversity. There are three books in total plus another prequel.
Good luck!!
