it's like a full-time job trying to advocate and negotiate with the school, and then work with the child at home on things that they should be doing in school.
It's not like a full-time job Blackcat - it IS my full-time job. That may be why I have (finally) been successful in getting DD into a good place. But it has taken 5 years of blood, sweat and tears (and lots of time, money and help from the folks here on this board) to get there. Most parents don't have this luxury and most kids don't have 5 years to waste.
At the beginning I was treated like I had 3 heads. DD was "too smart" to even be evaluated much less be deserving of any special services. She was "lazy", "manipulative", "not even trying", "refusing to do her work" and the like. I was "overprotective", "making excuses" and "trying to get special treatment". She and I were both treated *horribly* - her psychologist eventually labeled DD's school situation as "abusive". It took 3 years with that psychologist to work through the PTS she developed just from attending K-2. And this was with having the LD's identified the summer after K. I can't even imagine what kids go through if they are not identified until middle school or later...
Along the way I went from being dismissed, to being insulted, to being tolerated, to being feared and am now respected. Every single issue I have presented, advocated for, fought for has eventually been borne out by experts. Every question I have asked has proven to be legitimate. Every concern has been proven appropriate. But this is only because I have the luxury of working on this full time. My heart breaks for the kids who get dismissed, ignored or abused because their parents don't have this option or don't "get it" themselves.
As DD has gotten older her speech gives her away immediately as "a special Ed kid" so no one seems to resent the special Ed services (and the high price tag that goes along with them) anymore. Now people tend to think I'm a loon about the gifted part because y'know those kids on the short bus are "special" - they just can't be smart. Mentioning that my 5th grader is doing a high school literature curriculum tends to put an end to that and leaves many small minded people dazed and confused. So I guess we've gone from "smart but lazy" to "special Ed but smart". At least now she's getting what she needs but no, it's not an easy system to navigate and no most parents don't have the option of doing this full time.
Thank goodness I have had the temperament for a take no prisoners approach, the luxury to devote significant resources to the battle and to live in an area where the needed resources are available. And thank goodness I found this site at the beginning of this battle. The folks here have really been the driving force to get through all of this. There should be an easier way to allow the average family to access what their kids need but I have no idea how to make that happen.
