Thanks - very useful advice. I totally agree about middle school - part of thinking about whether he should repeat is due to the slight feeling of panic that he just won't be ready for middle school in a couple of years. I actually hadn't had his hearing checked, for some reason it didn't occur to me. But I will do that too - he's never shown any obvious signs of hearing loss but I know that it can sometimes be hard to pick and it won't do any harm to have it checked.
I'll also look more closely at his performance at school and try to assess the reasons for it. His grades so far have been pretty consistently Cs with the occasional B and D, he's only ever got an A for sports. I have talked to him a bit about it and he doesn't really have any answers - he says he likes school but more for the social side of things, he doesn't hate the academics but doesn't love them either. He feels like he is 'quite smart' but not one of the 'clever group of kids that get picked for stuff and always get awards'. So perhaps he either doesn't care or doesn't think it's worth the extra effort to work hard to get a higher mark. He never does his homework (it's optional at his school) and I don't make him because he plays a lot of sport after school and after that I think he needs time to relax - his main form of relaxation is reading which up until now I've thought was just as beneficial as homework. This might have to change next year though if he goes into Year 5 when homework becomes compulsory.
You are so right about success at school being a process - I remember so many kids at my school who were super bright who didn't have a great school experience because they just didn't get how school worked. It's such a shame - all kids deserve to get the support they need to be successful at school. I don't care whether DS gets high marks or gets prizes etc but I do want him to be confident in his learning and see some benefit in trying hard and as you say if he doesn't get this before middle school it will be hard to change then.
