My DS13 hates ball sports and always has hated them (he does karate). I think mainly he just doesn't see the point of chasing a ball around (his mind seeks more productive or problem solving activities). Last year he joined the local middle school Brain Bowl team. He LOVES it. Not exactly a sport, but a place he can go to compete intellectually. The kids on the team are like minded, and share a lot of laughs at the practices. I'm not sure if many schools offer the activity at the elementary level, but might be something to look into???
I think the answers are straightforward, but not easy-- first, we need (and are) teaching better social and general functioning skills with therapy.
I also think DS needs to feel comfortable with his own set of talents (to nurture) and challenges (to work on).
Finally, because DS is still young, I need to help him fill a social need with a more group oriented activity. We're looking into cub scouts as an option. I would also like him in some kind of after school activity-- not necessarily competitive.
I think intellectual/ academic competitions are later... DS has been labeled by peers as the "smart kid." However DS may view that, it's become a part of his current identity-- I want him to put it into perspective by discovering other qualities and skills that he views as integral to who he is. To put it plainly, if he thinks he's "the smart kid" and he loses (because let's face it, there's always someone smarter or more skilled), it might put his self esteem into further tailspin.
I appreciate all of the input. It helps me think through these things.
