So sorry, Sue, and can definitely relate. My DS begged to skip school on Halloween for years (couldn't handle the parading, wearing costumes all day, etc).
Is there any way he can go out early on the evening, before there are som many kids? How about handing out the treats? Or, you can look for alternatives- we enjoyed an open-house kind of event at the police station, outdoors, one year when DS was young. Our area also has several outdoor walks, one in the woods with lighted jack-o-lanterns, one at the zoo, etc- they are much more low-key, non-scary, and were easier to tolerate (though DS would never wear a costume). As he got older, we hosted a few buddies for a Halloween-themed movie and little party, games, snacks, whatever they were into that year. It doesn't even have to be on the big night, if the buddies are planning to trick-or-treat. Or perhaps he has buddies or relatives who live in a less busy area and could tag along in a different neighborhood?
Don't be too sad- it sounds like you are doing a good job listening to his needs. And you never know, next year could be totally different. Though to be honest, my DS never grew to like the holiday and still doesn't really participate- but he's totally ok with that (he's 13, so most of his friends are sort of aging out of it anyway).
