The ones who DO ask are not restricted for medical reasons, or else they are seniors, who are developmentally taking charge of their lives in general. It takes until the 6th meal for most of the kids to be comfortable with asking, and then the season is over.
Sorry to veer slightly OT, but I find this fascinating. I have a dd who has anaphylactic allergies, and by the time she was 6-7 years old (and started to really understand what anaphylaxis and death meant) sdshe *absolutely* had no issue with speaking up and asking. I can totally understand that it's a huge task to keep up with as the adult supervising the group meal, but honestly, I'm very surprised that the children with medical issues wouldn't speak up - that's the polar opposite of what our experience has been with dd and the other children we know with medical issues that are issues enough to make them physically ill.
Re the PSAT bluemagic, I'm so sorry that happened to your ds! My ds has had similar things happen at school at different times with standardized testing but his high school at least seems to have their act together re being sure the kids with accommodations know when to go where etc.
And yes, ndw, kids don't like to stand out. My ds who has accommodations for his dysgraphia and dyspraxia did not like to stand out for many many years. He's finally growing into his own "skin" and much more at ease with using accommodations in class and for tests etc. What made the difference with him feeling comfortable speaking up (and this is a kid with an expressive language disorder).. is the point in time at which it really clicked with him that yes, the accommodation *did* make a difference in allowing him to show what he really knew and that *without* the accommodation he was very frustrated in not being able to accomplish what he knew he was capable of. Perhaps that's a bit similar to my dd not having a concern in the world about telling an adult she couldn't eat something once she'd had made the connection that the accommodation (food) was necessary (so that she didn't get sick).
Sorry for the ramble!
Hope your ds did well blue
polarbear
