Hi all - and thank you so much.
Polarbear - never too late! My meeting isn't for a couple more hours, and anyway this probably won't be the last time I tackle this. I was like you - kept mulling it over and couldn't figure out how to express my thoughts. And as you referenced, we did really, REALLY extensive testing to try to sort out what was going on. The neuropsych assessed him as stealth dyslexic. But I doubt "stealth dyslexia" will qualify as a recognizable diagnosis, since the school doesn't even accept "dyslexia" as a qualifying diagnosis. (They've re-worded it so that a student has to be below grade level performance.)
DS has symptoms that ping in SPD, ASD and ADHD. But our painfully detailed assessment didn't turn up any of those for him. Sometimes I do think it would be easier to get help if it had. Instead, I'm standing there with "stealth dyslexia," low-average PSI that is more than six (6!) standard deviations below his VCI, and the dismissive opinion that DS is "smart enough to know better."
But the funnel analogy (thanks Syoblrig) and the low-hanging fruit (thanks eco) and the lovely "deep thinker" (thanks daytripper) add nicely to aeh's awesome explanation. I should emphasize how fortunate I am that the school is willing to work with DS and us. It's just that none of this is easy to explain in a way that won't fall on deaf ears because we do live in a Special Snowflake community.
Two further notes. George - DS did the same thing last year a couple months into first grade. Not reading to fluent reader in just a few weeks. Crazy.
And eco - DS is the king of low-hanging fruit and obtuseness. Yesterday he wrote a curse word on the bathroom wall because he thought other kids would think it was funny. Bless the principal for understanding he did it out of isolation and loneliness - and for helping him get that this is NOT the right way to make friends. Now if I can just help her understand more about why he feels that way!
Anyway - thanks again,
Sue
