I have more to say, but am short on time at the moment...
But some quick thoughts:
1. We've emphasized the distinction between authority as vested in a role, and authority as vested in a person.
2. Communication is not only about how well I express myself, but also about how the other person receives it. One can be gracious and diplomatic, and truthful at the same time, by reframing charmspeak (I like that term!) as an aid to effective communication. Do I convey greater truth by expressing myself in a way that feels more honest to myself, but is heard less accurately by the other person, or by adapting my presentation so that the message received by the other person better reflects my communicative intent?
