Your description of your childhood reminded me of bits of my childhood. I definitely struggled with existential depression and the meaning of it all.
I never thought of myself as gifted at all. I knew nothing of the GT world before having this kindergartener that hit the ceiling on the school's screening test. Now that I understand GT a bit better, I think those kids that perform best within the "system", tend to be bright or more moderately gifted. I had a heck of a time trying to stay engaged or find meaning in anything that was happening in the classroom. I definitely thought something was seriously wrong with me in elementary school. There was no gifted identification or programming in my small private school.
I have no real answers, but I can relate! Welcome!
