I would say the latter is the last resort, because as you note, the place where the deficits are glaring is school. To make gains in that environment, you need support to build those skills and practice deploying them there.
Yes, this makes sense.
Yes. He may think he's doing great on organization when he's really followed by a giant cloud of missing paper.
Describes last year exactly--we nicknamed him Pigpen (from Peanuts) but the cloud was paper. Ha!
Building self-awareness about deficits without cultivating self-loathing is tricky, but very important. All humans make mistakes, all have weaknesses, but if we know ours at least we can work around them and use safeguards to make sure we turn stuff in. Ultimately this builds a sense of security and confidence in one's capabilities.
He has always been "okay" with the ADHD diagnosis--but is struggling with the new one, because he thinks of it as a "slur."
I think we'll get there: historically, his self-concept is pretty intact. I think this is partly because of the social issues, ironically. Not being aware of others' perceptions can be protective, in a sense.
As in, he has a reputation? Wasn't expecting him to be "good", and he was?
Yes, the "reputation" thing is troubling. I'm also not crazy about using the word "good" because it implies if he'd had difficulties (I asked about engagement and assignments, social interactions), he'd be viewed as "bad." I'm trying not to worry too much...the perception of him as rotten is the part of this that is most difficult for me. Breathing, letting go...
A kid who excels in learning the subject matter may be appreciated more by HS teachers than by MS teachers.
This is the vibe I'm getting, so far. I shared a brief "challenges and strengths" re: Asperger's kids and so far the teachers are commenting they see the strengths. I can't even explain how happy this makes me--before last year, I'd always had a lot of good feedback to help even out the difficult stuff. It's helpful to be able to share positives with DS, as well.
However, HS teachers can also have expectations that all the organizational/social learning is already in place: they can be baffled by a kid who needs support in these ways. It can work, but it may require some conversations.
I hope. Thank you so much for your help!
