My take away from all this is-

Advocate if need be, but let younger DD try. She might surprise me.
8th will probably be the best grade.
My kids will figure out which level they are in (and probably know everyone else’s).
And yes, if this school doesn’t work, we have a back up school for DD10. I just hate to think we might have to do 2 schools.
Finally, I may post again later just for more support. It is hard to let my babies go to middle school!!!!