[quote=deacongirl]
On the other hand, most of the parents who post/read here have children who really can (in general) perform up to those expectations without having to do anything particularly unhealthy to do so. Kids above MG also have the chance to find their tribe more readily when 15-25% of the local school population is genuinely at least garden-variety gifted....
PG kids are still like unicorns-- only a fair number of the villagers are tying paper mache horns to their horses and definitely don't want the real deal to be TOO obvious. KWIM?
We live in one of the cited Silly Con Valley school districts, and DH teaches private music lessons to many high-achievers/gifted kids. It gives us an interesting glimpse into the maelstrom in which these kids live.
On one hand - Re the unicorn point above:
There is a snarky label being used by kids to describe students using brute force to reach pinnacles of achievement (sometimes self-initiated, sometimes responding to peer pressure, sometimes under influence from parents). The term is "try hard" - as in "He's such a try hard."
It's derogatory - sort of analogous to the sniffing-down-their-noses terms like "social climber" or "nouveau riche." What's the net result? Kids want to appear to be unicorns. Maybe even more often - kids' parents want them to be perceived as the unicorns. Many paper horns sprouting up around town ...
So now, the kids are not only whipping themselves to take on the most, the hardest. They're also desperately trying to convey a casual, "oh it's no big deal" air about it.
Through DH, we see some of the true unicorns, and the school experience can actually be pretty glorious for them. Honestly - they are challenged, working hard, and basically moving in the right direction.
Oh but the try hards - and especially the try hards trying to pull off "unicorn." It's just devastating and frightening. We are ever-attentive to this, trying to start DS early on a balanced outlook as to "success," and always on a knife-edge as to yanking DS out of this system. With his internal perfectionist, self-imposed demands - too scary if his gifts don't allow him to pull it off without succumbing to unhealthy peer pressure/behaviors.
On the other hand - re tribes:
As DS has relaxed enough to actually make some friends, he has begun to find tribe members. He's still young enough that I volunteer in his classroom, and though there is no G&T pull out, the teachers really do try to give the gifted kids something to chew on. And it's lovely to see DS and his cohorts sometimes - even for a short while - galloping together. I honestly see them experiencing that same burst of joy I get when I kick a horse up to full speed and feel the float. I hope the days when he and his tribe mates hold on to that last a long time!
