On a more personal note, this story struck me deeply. There is a history of depression in DS' extended family, and of giftedness on both sides. I am actively trying to create an environment for DS where he will have the supports and role models he needs to develop a healthy internal monologue and life habits as he grows up. I want to consciously model struggle and failure around personally meaningful goals to him as he grows up so that he learns how people--even outwardly successful ones-- pick up the pieces of a shattered dream, be it personal or professional, and pivot toward a new path.
I fully plan to have DH and I share with him our personal and professional failures when appropriate. He needs to know that marriage, work, health (physical, mental, spiritual) are the product of grit, struggle, and learning. When the passion in any of these areas inevitably wanes, success boils down to a sequence of small habits repeated consistently over time that center on a guiding set of values.
I wonder how Madison's story might have been different if her parents had encouraged her strongly to withdraw for a semester (or longer) to regroup or to significantly reduce her courseload, not just transfer. I wonder if she would have felt so trapped if someone had told her that she could scale back until she found her comfort zone. She might well have learned the ropes after a few months and been able to happily sustain her load with a more gentle easing into university. I had a humdinger of a first semester at university as a young matriculant taking extra credits and starting in second year (thankfully I had the presence of mind--or lack of intestinal fortitude-- not to do varsity fencing, which required 30 hours of training per week!). I needed to learn how to live in a new environment that presented some challenge before thriving, eventually with a relatively low level of effort again. It was a season that passed quickly, and I suspect Madison could have experienced similar success if she had been allowed to admit she was overburdened and unhappy.
