Exactly, aeh. This is not an easy task with PG kiddos, because the entire world seems to conspire against parents in their attempts to offer
appropriate challenge to such children
in time for those things to matter to their child's developmental arc.The activities that DD has engaged in have
never been things that mattered a great deal to DH or I. We're not the least bit invested in them-- they are
vehicles for DD to learn certain life skills, and to learn about herself.
But she often doesn't see it that way-- much to our dismay, when we encourage persistence, she often responds by telling us that WE care more than she does about {insert activity}, and that WE have an expectation of mastery...
It's a highwire act with a kid like this. She's NOT particularly self-motivated (well, okay, she is-- but she's still not really grown out of her dilletante impulses which were a lot more 'fine' in a 6yo 3rd grader than they are in a 16yo college student, if you see what I mean).
She's NOT an autodidact. (Yet).
She has no idea
how to "struggle" for mastery-- so she won't. She does what is easy
because it is easy, and isn't really very passionate about anything in particular, but likes most things well enough, and mostly-- likes novelty.
That
rage to master that is much-touted as a gifted trait? VERY limited, in my experience, and "master" is a polite euphemism for "until it gets unpleasant or to be much work, and then I'm outta here..."
Does that mean that she isn't
really gifted??
I'd offer up her learning arc as proof positive that it isn't so. She is mind-boggling when she truly puts that brain of hers into top gear. (I've not seen that often-- maybe two or three times
in her lifetime-- but it NEVER fails to impress. Everyone.)
When she DOES really want something, she does go after it with a vengeance. It's just that she hasn't found anything academic that really lights her up that way enough that she is willing to keep going when the going gets tough (and by "tough" I mean-- no longer so intuitive that she doesn't need to practice). At least not for long. It's not for lack of exposure, either.
She'd rather dabble and be "excellent" (for a beginner or one without training, or with limited training) than achieve genuine mastery. It's a bit aggravating, because she is incredibly promising at
so many different things. It's hard to know when to hold her feet to the fire, so to speak, and force her to follow through.
