I hear you. If we kept on pushing, we might have been known as that parent who think rules should apply to everyone but to their child so we didn't.

I get this hunch that most people feel DD4 can do what she can do because of the home environment and exposure. Meaning, any children would be "advanced" if they were fortunate enough to have parents who would pay for music lessons and have the time to help practice.

Just like with academics, people in general seem to think only the extreme cases you see in the mass media are gifted.