The gotcha with selecting a school is that sometimes you can take a red-flag at face value and know the school won't be a good fit, but many times (either way - good fit or not), you'll never really know until your child has attended for a few days at least, if not actually enrolled.
We had a great experience with private school (not a gifted school either, but advertised as college prep and working a year ahead of our public schools, plus offering subject acceleration and differentiated work within the classroom). The two things that were most helpful for our kids weren't actually advertised: teachers who cared about challenging their students and who were flexible, and peers they enjoyed being with.
A few observations, just from one school:
We don't like homogeneous classrooms because it makes one group of kids think they are better than the others.
Our school didn't state this exactly but had a different version of it, same general concept just didn't emphasize that gifted students would feel they were superior to other students. The reality was - there were disproportionately more families with gifted kids applying than were sending students to public school, so they had lots of questions about gifted classes etc. Yet the school was small and couldn't really support separate classrooms based on ability - so they had to have *an* answer to why they didn't have honors vs regular etc classrooms. In the end, it was all ok - both because the teachers individually were very keen on challenging their students, because the school did offer subject acceleration in a few subjects, and because the overall mix of kids wasn't low-ability or even middle-ability, many of the students who landed at the school were gifted at some level. The other thing that worked was simply a more-inspiring curriculum (in terms of being interesting) than offered at our local public schools.
--smart kids sometimes think they are better than others, so we really want to avoid that for him.
As the parent of a "smart kid" part of me recoils at that statement, but another part identifies with it. I have very vivid memories of one "smart" kid who was in my grade level and classes all through school. He self-proclaimed to be pg (not sure if he really was or if he/his parents just believed he was). He thought he was above what was being taught in the classroom, didn't make efforts to be friends with other kids etc. I would not want my kids to have an attitude of being "better than" simply because they are smart. I do feel it's important to be able to find friends and understanding across ability levels, and I do feel that my kids got more of an education in how to be good *people* at their private school than they did in public school simply because our public schools didn't include values/etc as part of the curriculum, and the private school did.
--there are lots of very gifted kids here, so he will have a peer group.
As I mentioned above, this did happen for us.
--the teachers will differentiate here with reading assignments.
With statements like this, you have to dig in and ask what exactly is meant. Sometimes you also have to actually see the class in action to know what is really meant by differentiation.
--most people say our school is academically ahead of the other schools, so he will get what he needs.
Our private school was academically ahead of the public school. It also offered more opportunities for enrichment, going deeper, going farther, and for subject acceleration. Did our kids always get what they needed? No. But it was a "better-by-far" solution than what they had in public school (here, not everywhere), and our kids loved their school.
--Most people find that the classes are much harder than they anticipate so rushing a kid ahead usually backfires down the road. So, we don't like to do that.
They've most likely had this happen with kids who've been tiger-mom'd by achievement-driven parents. It doesn't necessarily mean the school isn't a good fit for a way-ahead-of-the-curve in ability student. The key is - will teachers listen to and work with parents, and do teachers have the time and the interest to genuinely care about the individual child.
--middle school is a time of great change so it is more important to work on character than academics.
This could be a red flag - not only for the academics part but for what is meant by "character" - be sure it aligns with your own family values. OTOH, I'm probably a lone voice in this aspect here, but I agree with this. If I had to choose between a focus on academics or a focus on overall character (that fit in with my family values) I'd choose character during middle school. That doesn't mean I didn't advocate and support getting my kids what they needed in terms of intellectual challenge, but it does mean that I feel my kids benefitted greatly from being at a school where the entire focus wasn't on academics and where there were teachers and school philosophy that supported them in becoming understanding, caring, empathetic human beings (especially in that time of life when hormones were crazy!).
Choosing schools is tough! I don't know how I'd get through it if I lived in an area where there were tons of options
Best wishes,
polarbear
