I agree with the listen advice above. Try to go in with a blank slate and really listen to what they say. After fully understanding their view you can then decide later if it agrees with what you see and know. You'll have lots of time later to figure out how to merge the views or think about what doesn't fit going forward but during the meeting just try to learn as much as you can about their view and what that means for your DD.
If at all possible take someone with you (either a spouse or someone else that you can talk with after and have another opinion of what was actually said). DH and I attended the same meeting but each got different things out of it and both views have helped us going forward.
As for what you need coming out of the meeting in ideally I'd look for a list of accommodations and modifications that will be put in her IEP. We were very fortunate to have an excellent report coming out and most of it showed up word for word in DS's IEP. It is evolving over time but at least it was a starting point.
Hopefully the meeting will be a huge "aha" and help get you started making things better for her. At the same time, while knowing what we are dealing with was a HUGE eyeopener we're still fumbling along in a lot of ways and DS is constantly changing so we have to change as well. It is definitely more of a process than a destination for us but at least it feels like we have some direction rather than running around in circles
Good luck!!!
