Although the children are being mean, I don't expect the school to use staff to prevent children from killing insects at recess. They could tell certain children not to talk to your daughter.
Unfortunately this may not be an infrequent response from a school.
"Children are being mean." Psychology Today illustrates the difference between being mean and bullying, in this
article.
"I don't expect the school to use staff to prevent children from killing insects at recess." To the degree that staff is not typically used to
prevent bullying in the school setting, but rather receive reports or make direct observations, which then result in instruction, and informing of possible consequences, some might say the same could be expected in this situation.
"They could tell certain children not to talk to your daughter." Since the bullying did not consist of things said, but rather of actions performed, a cessation of verbal interaction does not address the situation. With the bully receiving this type of "consequence" for behavior, the action which constituted the bullying is likely to continue. The perceived imbalance of power is likely to grow, and bullying is likely to escalate into other forms.
The difference between being mean and bullying is largely intent, and repetition.
- Instruction to the child in perspective taking may help.
- Asking the child what he was thinking when he purposefully squashed bugs in front of a particular child may help.
- Asking the child to considering what he might do differently may help.
- Hearing that authority figures believe in him and know he can use his "leadership" for positive purposes may help.
If the child wanted attention, the above steps could provide him with positive attention while providing instruction, reflection, and guidance. He could become very proud of holding himself to a higher standard.
