I'm grateful there are blogs out there like this, but.... I actually find them really depressing. As someone starting out on this journey all I keep seeing is doom and gloom, how my kid is destined to be a miserable out cast etc. I just can't believe it for her sake. I know she will have some social issues but I want to read positive stories about how people have got their kids to be successful and happy!
I understand where you are coming from, but here are a few points to consider:
First, advocacy and the willingness to communicate publicly about a situation sort of implies that something went wrong... that there was a struggle. If DD's grade school had just said "sure, let's skip her a grade and talk about enriching her language arts... " I may never have started looking for help and, well, griping about how terrible things were. So blogs and lists like this kind of self select for people who have to fight the system or are dealing with issues.
Second, there seems to be an arc where the disconnect is greater when the kids are younger. They are more asynchronous in grade school. Their tiny bodies, motor skills development, and lack of life experience, make dealing with a powerful intellect more challenging. This is stressful for them and others around them. Often by the time kids get into middle / high school things are going more smoothly (or the kid has completely checked out, in which case the parents are dealing with different issues). There's a thread on this very board someplace about where all the parents of older kids go. So again you may not hear about success stories.
Third, being different from other people can cause social disconnect. But being different is also not a one-way ticket to "miserable outcast"-ville. Many people with learning or physical disabilities would argue strenuously against this position. I don't want my child defined by how other people relate to her. Sure, there are people who don't get her and react in ways that aren't kind or helpful. But many more are willing to relate to her in a positive way. The happier she is with who she is and where she's at, the better the social situation gets.
Here's a story for you: DD11 was unhappy and stressed out by first grade. So we advocated. But when we couldn't change the system, we left it. And now she's both intellectually stimulated and socially connected. Her issues are of normal scope and intensity for her age (hormones, motivation, friend drama). She's generally a happy well-adjusted girl.
