Dear Love My Baby,
Thanks for sharing your story with us. I want to hear everything about her that you can think of.
You bring up an interesting point -
"What is giftedness, anyway?"
I have never found any agreement on a definition, so I started asking a new qustion - "What are my son's needs, and How can I best get my son's needs met?"
In my situation, learning about gifteness really helped me understand what my son's needs might be, and what some ways of meeting them might be.
Here's what I think Giftedness is: A developmental path, which is different enought from Neurotypical Children, such that all the regular services a school sucessfully provides for other children of a similar age, and all the "common wisdom" about Child Development lead to frustration for all concerned.
((How about that! LOL!))
I see Gifteness as a Special Educational Need. But I also see that a compliant child who is getting all As but hates the academic component of school is suffering and not having her needs met, and if fact harm is being done to her - which you have to understand, most teacher will not percieve. Loving "being engaged with the challenge of learning" is not a counsious part of the goals for public education.
I don't think that a test can tell you that your child ISN'T gifted. It can, at best, confirm your suspicions. Similarly, if you child taught herself to read as a preschooler, a book like Dr.Ruf's Losing Our Minds, can help you better understand your child and confirm your suspicions. But my son, aged 10, scores as gifted overall, profoundly gifted in his verbal skills, and didn't learn to read until 1st grade.
I don't think you should even entertain sharing the results with your child of any IQ test, one way or the other. You could simply say: "I've noticed that school isn't a good fit for you, because you aren't learning to love being engaged with the challenge of learning. We want to get some help in figuring out what needs to change so that we can put you in a school that will met your needs."
Of course we in the US are raised in a "better than/worse than" world. But if you focus on "finding a way to make school and your daughter fit" then you can sidestep that whole issue. At our house, we always go back to the flowers blooming at their own rate. What would happen to the bees if all the flowers bloomed during two weeks in August? In the natural world, differences always make the whole stronger.
I don't know what a Developmental Peditrician is, but perhaps this is your teacher's subtle way of asking you for an IQ test?
Since you have homeschooled in the past, you are at a great advantage. You know lots of things about your daughter that you wouldn't know if you didn't have that backround. She also is likely to rely on you in a particular way that homeschool builds. Good for you!
What if IQ tests are too expensive? Some alternative ways of getting the information are "above level tests" given through the various talent searches. Another possibility is the NWEA's MAP test, which you would have to travel to a school that gives it. I have also heard that there are ways for homeschoolers to give the standardised tests at home. If you can track this down, then just give your daughter one, two or three years above her agegroups test. If she does really well a year of two above her age, then she's definitly gifted. If not, well you still don't know.
My last tip: Start encouraging her to learn correct typing. I started bribing my son, off and on, at age 7, and by age 9 he was 50 wpm with his eyes away from the keyboard. This written product problem is very very common amoung young people with alot to say. Let's face it: If you had had to handwrite your above post, do you think it would have been as long, detailed and spontanious? Or would you have written: "Please help me, I'm not sure what to do, I want to learn more about gifted."
And would I be answering you at this length? Probably not - sad to say.
Another wonderful idea is to call your state university and ask if there is someone for parents to talk to about giftedness, and you state gifted association may have a hotline.
BTW - What books have your read? Which ones are in your library system. Post here and we'll give reccomendations as to where to start. "A Nation Decieved" is free to request over the internet and has lots of good information.
Love and More Love,
TRinity
