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Watching for it in TV is a good idea, although she doesn't watch muhc TV/movies (not of much interest to her).
That may be a chicken/egg issue. There was a study of people with autism that found that they typically focus on very different things (visually) when watching movies than neurotypical people. They don't look at the characters' faces, for example, they focus on other things in the picture. As a result, they miss cues about the characters and plot, and the whole thing is not very meaningful.
I agree about not forcing eye contact during intense conversations. We have focused on looking like you're paying attention when in class, and when being given directions, and in social repartee. Occasions where you may get in trouble if you don't look like you're doing it right.
It is, however, a skill that can improve with practice.
