Does anyone have any other ideas like these? If so I would love to see them!
When I was in school, I taught myself a math method for addition that basically has you use your fingers as an abacus.
Here's the book I used - apparently it's still in print, with the same cover, even. I don't have dyscalculia, but it has been super helpful to me as an adjunct to working memory for years, and I bet it would be even better for someone like your DD.
Your left hand is the tens digit, and your right hand is the ones digit. Count by holding your hands over the table, and put down your index finger (one), middle finger (two), ring finger (three), pink finger (four), pick up your fingers and put down your thumb (five), put your index finger back down (six), etc. When all the fingers of your right hand are down (nine), you get to ten by picking them all up and putting down the index finger of your left hand. Basically, you are using your hands as a two-digit abacus, with the thumbs being the "five" beads and the fingers being the "one" beads.
You can get faster by developing automaticity in doing things like adding five or ten, but the basic how-to-count principle may be enough for your DD to be able to use this to get herself where she needs to be.
Actually, have you ever showed her an abacus? If it clicks for her (no pun intended), I bet you'd have more luck getting a teacher to let her have access to that than to a traditional calculator.
