How many of us are occasionally mean to our family in ways we'd never never be to others? If we can't let our real frustrations and anger be know to family, who can we express it to? I am guilty of it (and not proud). I'll melt down sometimes, but not in public. Isn't this the same that kids are doing. Maybe we need to train ourselves to remove ourselves before/at the onset of tantrum (go lie down or blog on the computer for a half hour to collect ourselves).