One place is try looking at local university. My local research university has clinic originally for kids with ADHD, but that has broadened it scope for other diagnoses with similar behaviors. When my DS14 was in 6th grade he had some serious anxiety problems. Screaming in class, shutting down, and trouble controlling his emotions. At this clinic he took a group therapy class with small group of junior high boys that helped a lot. This was expensive, but I feel it did help. The makeup of this group varied, but there were several 2e kids, and he fit in well. All of the psychologists that worked with my DS agreed that he did not fit either a ADHD, or Aspergers diagnosis but he did fit in with the group. He is clearly gifted & was having anxiety and social problems.
Good luck, I would keep looking for a better fit of a psychologist and as the ADHD medications don't appear to work I would give a good thought to using them.
