Thanks for the responses so far. Today was better. I really think it was a combination of many factors and the tipping point was a "friend" issue at the new school. She has always been super sensitive and does not deal well at all with conflict. She is also a social butterfly and has a particularly hard time when everyone doesn't play nicely.
We have always suspected she was gifted, but chose not to formally test when she was younger. We really did not understand giftedness and did her a great disservice. Our philosophy has always been that we want her to love to learn. Love the process, and she always has, it is one of her best qualities. We do not care about grades, but she know we want her to put forth her best effort. The end result is not important, but the journey is.
Our biggest mistake was taking her out of public school for first grade and putting her in a highly acclaimed college prep private school. She needed a change because the public school was not prepared to deal with this very bright little girl, and had no alternatives. We thought a more challenging curriculum would be enough to bridge the boredom, but it was still a factory school, following the factory model which did not play to her strengths as an independant creative thinker.
The new school is TINY, but the teaching style is perfect for her. And they totally get gifted kids. But she is a perfectionist and still tries to control situations through her behavior. The difference is they don't feed into her attempts to control and they are teaching her to take risks and not be afraid of failure. We met with them today and they assure us she is making progress and that her turn around time from getting frustrated is very quick. This is a big victory for us.
She has had four years of being expected to follow the "rubric" at her old school and repeated attempts to mold her into their ideal. Going outside of the box was not looked at as a good thing. This is all crystal clear now and while we did advocate for her it was an uphill battled on every front.
I am rambling, it's late.....I think we need to constantly remind ourselves to take baby steps. We have a lot of deprogramming to do and a lot of confidence building is in need.
I have enjoyed reading these forums immensely. We don't have many resources at all for gifted kids in our area and it is a blessing to realize we are not alone.
