My greatest fear is that I am going to add myself to the list of folks who over-react to DD's behavior... and that may be what is happening here...
I absolutely DO discuss all of this with DD on a daily basis (I couldn't avoid it if I tried), and the problem that I perceive is that her version of reality doesn't accurately match up with what is actually happening in the classroom....
Meanwhile, DD and I have been discussing the phenomenology of social interaction and the problem of emotional solipsism. She proceeds with an expectation that something will internally "feel different" for both partners when there is a genuine social connection with somebody. Her belief is that cordiality and shared play is a phenomenologically distinct experience from friendship... which on certain levels it is... but if one imposes this as a test when one is 5...
...It's a problem.
If I understand correctly, DD5 expects mutual "warm fuzzy" feelings with the teacher in order to be convinced that the teacher likes/accepts her? Although she seems to observe and understand very much, DD5 is still young and may have storybook expectations? Kids who are used to making accurate connections between things and drawing logical/plausible/correct conclusions may be surprised to find that interpersonal interactions may be more nuanced and therefore the child's conclusions may be erroneous in this area. DD5 may need to match/merge what she is observing with a different set of managed expectations? For example, she may enjoy knowing that we all have different roles; In the classroom the teacher is acting as a professional, striving to treat all children with the same cordial impartiality.
These concepts were probably well-covered in your conversation with DD5 on phenomenology of social interaction and the problem of emotional solipsism.
Meanwhile, might DD5 enjoy putting her observational and communication powers to work on crafting a variety of fictional endings, and a variety of character motivations, authoring a few tales? Having that as a creative outlet may help hone her skill in distinguishing fact from embellishment/exaggeration, understanding the lens through which one is interpreting, keeping straight "what they said" -vs- "what I heard", and ensuring one is not projecting?
Just my 2 cents.
