indigo, thank you for your insight and the book recommendation. Your post spoke to me on many different levels. I would like to mention that I do have pretty in depth discussions with my DD when something like this happens to her. We did talk about the interaction that led up to the other girl crying and I explained to her about her right to have an opinion or an idea and support it just as passionately as the other team member. I explained to her that she has no control over the reaction that the other team member chooses to exhibit. I explained compromise (maybe the two of them could have given up one idea each and accepted one idea of the other each, for example) and then I talked to her about the reality of life and how people misjudge others and it is often not fair. I want her to know I support her when she is right but I also want her to know that life is going to be full of these conflicts for her, especially because she is stuck in a school that has no gifted and talented recognition or program, so she is always going to struggle to fit in.
Thankfully this year we have a teacher who differentiates and is willing to recognize and challenge her, so I think some of that struggle will be alleviated for her, but you never know what you are going to get year after year.
At any rate, I will check out the book and see who it helps more (her or me!)
Thanks for the feedback.
