The book, "The Explosive Child", was very helpful for us in establishing a foundation for collaborative problem solving when the 3's took us by storm.
I was surprised at how well DS3 came up with solutions that we could both agree upon once we voiced our concerns after the storm subsided. His need to assert his independence at this age tied in nicely with him being the one to offer solutions. The solutions have to be mutually agreeable, so it builds skills for the natural give-and-take your child will need throughout life and encourages creativity.
I was often surprised that my assumptions about the root of the problem were wrong, but it was a lesson that I needed to learn. The approach has the family improve skills over time and just requires commitment and patience to see results.
