Welcome to the group CrazyMom2013. You've already gotten quite a bit of great advice, so I don't have much more to add. I'll second (*strong* second) that from what you've written, a neuropsych eval is something I would seriously consider. Your sweet ds is having some type of struggle, but the symptoms and behaviors you've written about could be *anything* really - there are so many challenges that overlap - some have mentioned ADHD, there was a mention of NVLD, the disorganization you mentioned was a *huge* issue for my ds for many years, and his diagnosis is Developmental Coordination Disorder. A neuropysch will help pull apart the different pieces of the puzzle, you'll come away with a better understanding of what's *really* going on, and you will be given a bit of a roadmap to move forward on re therapies, accommodations, etc if they are needed.
He scored 138 on his IQ test in Kindergarten (and they did think he wouldn't even pass because Kindergartners don't have the life experience to usually pass an IQ test, so his IQ is probably even much higher than that)
Also, just fwiw, there's no doubt you have a very very smart young son, and 138 is a high score on an IQ test - but IQ tests aren't tests that people have to have life experience under their belts to do well on - an IQ test isn't a "pass-fail" kind of thing or something that a person can really prep and study for to get a higher score on the actual questions asked. It does sometimes help to be a bit older so issues of maturity don't creep in, such as a child not caring about finishing or answering, or a child becoming overly tired etc while testing. And it's possible that perhaps the test used wasn't an innate ability IQ test (?) but perhaps either a learned ability test or more of an achievement test.
I hope you're able to find some answers for your ds - it sounds like you both need some help. As the parent of two 2e kids, I also know how easy it is to get used to the way things work within your family that you don't realize how different it is from what is typical. Having to put signs up as reminders everywhere at home isn't typical - neither are the behavior issues at school. It's so easy to pass off things that are signs of a challenge as the quirks of being gifted - but this sounds like more than quirky gifted asynchronicity. If there is more to it than that, you'll be glad you took the time to really understand what is going on.
The last thing I'll add - 2nd/3rd grade is a really common time in school for kids who are 2e and were holding things together to suddenly fall apart as the demands of school increase. While part of the issue may be a teacher who doesn't really understand your son, the teacher may also be providing you with some important clues into what's going on, so be sure to listen to what the teacher has to say even if you think she's way off base... we were in a similar situation with a teacher when our 2e ds was in 2nd grade and it was *horrible* - the teacher did not understand him or what was up with him, but neither did we as parents see that there was anything other than gifted perfectionist underchallenged kid in a classroom that wasn't a good fit. So we spent a lot of time discounting what the teacher had to say - and no, she didn't see what the real issue was, but in hindsight, she was absolutely spot-on correct that our ds was not functioning in his classroom and that there was an issue we needed to address. It took a neuropsych consult to figure it all out.
Best wishes,
polarbear
