Lisa,
I have some more questions -
Does this school go all the way through High School? Does she 'change buildings' or have a lot of new classmates at certian years?
Is the school willing to keep her where she is and do the skip over the winter break, so that she starts the year fresh with a new grade?
Does you daughter show any of the behaviors of perfectionism, unwillingness to try things she isn't good at? Or 'having to be perfect?' That is sometimes a better indicator of a parent needing to push than 'good' behavior in school.
Are there 'January' programs where she could spend time with other gifted children and see what she is missing?
Can she try attending the 3 'pullout extentions' with the grade 5 kids but staying in 4 for the rest of the day? Her Level of giftedness suggests that she would be a good fit with regular-gifted kids who are a year older.
Is she a bit on the young side in her classroom to start with?
Is she heavily involved in an 'afterschool' interest (dance, gymnastics, etc) that takes up a more than usual amount of time and energy?
Overall my advice is to try the playdates, and keep your eyes open for 'little chances' to let her try to be with older kids. What you don't want is to not push if her reason for resisiting is that she doesn't think she is capable.
A useful thing that I keep in mind, is that kids only build self-esteem when they succed at challenges that looked 'big' to them when they first faced them. An underplaced kid can get A's all day long and their self-esteem can really suffer. A wonderful teacher can provide challenge no matter what the number on the door is!
Smiles,
Grinity
