In fact... I'm not sure we both came together to solve the same problem. DW and I went into those meetings seeking a solution for a more appropriate education for our daughter. I assumed they were there for the same thing, which is why I always let them know that, while we always came with a proposed solution, I was open to any alternatives they might propose, so long as they addressed the problem at hand. Our proposals were rejected, and no alternatives were forthcoming. As time went by, it became apparent that they believed that they had already provided the most appropriate education for my daughter, so the only problem they had come to solve was... complaining parents.
Looking back on my post, it seems that the problem wasn't so much one of personality, but of recognizing and accepting that the school had placed upon us an unreasonable burden of proof to demonstrate how the classroom environment they had chosen for DD was, as we said, toxic. Since the ways she presented at home and at school were entirely contradictory, that was not a burden we could fulfill through conversation.
Eventually, we got the right solution (at least it seems like it, so far) by bypassing them altogether.
Yes, this above.
Having been around public education for about 31 years now (my wife is a MS / HS teacher) I can say that in my eyes, public education, generally speaking (there are always exceptions thankfully) has to be the most sugar coated, honey dripping, red tape wrapped organization I've dealt with in my 52 years of life.
I cannot possibly imagine a for profit company working in such a manner, so poorly tuned to their customers needs and desires, so slow to respond, and so dismissive of facts, logic, and evidence.
I finally came to the conclusion that it would simply take far too long to make any meaningful change, time that we didn't have as during that time my child's education was wasting away. Luckily, there were a couple of very good teachers to temper a generally ignorant pool of them, I mean ignorant in the best of ways actually, nobody had ever taught them, unfortunately for most of them it still didn't sink in when they were taught.
In the end, after a great deal of wasted time, I came to the conclusion that we need to do everything within our own power to present opportunities for growth outside of public school while still attempting to educate and affect change within the school district itself, not just for the sake of our own children but for the sake of those to come.
