1. totally selfish - I don't want DS leaving home 1 year earlier. That's so hard for me to swallow. I know people say the child may take a gap year. But how can anyone really predict what your child is going to do in 10 years?
We didn't grade skip our ds - and to be honest, this was a *large* part of why we didn't. DS had some tough years, particularly in upper elementary. We *have* had challenges that might have been easier had we skipped him. OTOH, I still appreciate having him home for that extra year and don't regret not skipping him for that reason. I know you are asking for reasons to feel ok about a skip, but I think it's also important to weigh the things you want overall too - and if this is important to you, know that it can work out.
2. is my child really that capable? Basically, I am projecting imposter syndrome on my child.
I would never *ever* consider this as a reason for not skipping - if you are considering a skip, if you have data (ability and achievement) that support the skip, and if your child wants the skip, toss this worry aside. You mentioned that you've filled out the IOWA scale at home and he's an excellent candidate, so where exactly do you think he's not capable?
I'm not saying don't listen to that voice - maybe there is something that is real about a gut feeling that he's not ready or not capable - but look for the data behind the feeling before you talk yourself into thinking he's not capable.
3. Will skipping a year actually reduce his accomplishments and the things that go with them (ex. scholarships), because there will be more capable kids in his new grade?
Skipping isn't going to suddenly land your ds in a class of students with a higher ratio of high-IQ kids to middle-IQ kids - he'll still be one of the higher IQ kids in class, so no, in theory, it shouldn't make any different in terms of accomplishments. Except that he won't be able to get his driver's license at the same time as the other kids
OTOH, skipping a grade won't necessarily mean he'll find appropriate challenges either - unless he's going into a gifted classroom situation where there is differentiation. Although we didn't grade-skip my ds, he is significantly subject-accelerated, and he does complain about the slow pace of the subject-accelerated classes where he is thrown in with kids who are at their grade level studying the same subject.
The other thing grade-skipping might not accomplish in and of itself is landing your child with teachers who will understand him or understand giftedness.
4. will my DS be upset about the skip when he is older?
I suspect my kids could be upset about just about *any* type of parenting decision I make for them. I have visions of the conversations they will be having with their therapists when they are young adults
I don't let that stop me from making what I think is the best decision for *now*, and then I simply hope that in the long run, if I keep the focus on raising my children to be happy, healthy and empathetic human beings, one little mistake here or there such as grade-skipping or not, won't be that big of a deal.
Lastly, if there is some tug inside of you that is feeling you need to have us (or others) *help* you feel ok with something, maybe that means the something isn't exactly what you need to do right now. Just a thought.
Best wishes,
polarbear
