1. How do you think it would go over to say that DS really wanted to move up a grade?
2. Are there any telltale signs I could look for to identify these types?
3. Most of the time I get the feeling that people are curious and fishing for gossip...what do you think?
1. I don't think I'd say that your son wanted to move up. Anything you can do to make it a parental decision makes it easier on him, I think. All too often, I think there's a choice between having your kid be "that kid" or your being "that mom." I virtually always pick being "that mom." I can take it; he might not be able to. Take responsibility. The tuning out thing is good, I think. It sounds like a bigger problem than boredom. Good move there!
2. The only one you really have to ID fast is the Negative Nellie. She's either threatened by your choice (ala my former-teacher "friend") or she's the one who wants to judge you and make you feel bad. You don't know her until she reveals how she feels about your decision through some snide comment (like that first one you listed) or through my "friend's" comment, "I don't understand what's wrong with being bored for two years until the GT pull-out kicks in." That's when you realize you've got a Nellie on your hands.
Your best defense is to refuse to accept her judgment. Period. She can only be mean to you if you give her that power over you. A shrug is your best move with her. She thinks you're wrong, but so what? It's not her call. Don't engage at all. Don't take it personally, even when she's clearly making it personal. Being emotionally clueless is a good thing with her!
(Said Spock...)
The other two are curious. Maybe it's gossip, maybe it's interest in your child, maybe it's just something for her to chat with you about because it's all she knows about you. It doesn't really matter which, since it all comes down to curiosity.
Even if she is gossip-seeking, she's doing you a favor by giving you a chance to feed the rumor mill with the truth, and the truth with a positive spin, no less! Take the chance! Just don't oversell it. Confidence is your friend.
Someone truly curious will ask follow-up questions. Someone just killing time and asking about the only thing they know about you will be happy to change topics if you go another direction. Try to gauge interest vs. boredom so you don't say more than is strictly necessary.
I'm lousy at this last bit, BTW. I always talk more than I should! I'm working on it...But on the bright side, I've gotten really good at spotting the Negative Nellies and sidestepping them. And personally, I think that's the one that really counts!
