I find that not acknowledging those not-so-subtle slights helps in potentially unpleasant situations. (One way in which being INTJ/Spock on the Meyers-Briggs helps me: "Emotions? What emotions?" LOL!)
For example:
Other parent: So, I understand that M is in first grade now.
Me: Yes. We really like Ms. First Grade Teacher!
Other parent: My DD is way ahead in her K class and she is often bored.
Me: Have you considered moving her up?
Other parent: I would never do that to my DD.
**My addition: Huh. <shrug> Well, every kid is different, and you have to do what works for you, but skipping a grade has worked great for us.
Notice how completely ignoring the unspoken (and wrong!) "You're a bad mom" subtext makes it go away. Voila!
If she straightens up at that point, you might then recommend that she read "A Nation Deceived." However, her staunch resistance might mean that's just never going to happen. You definitely have to gauge your audience...
As for the people who are wondering why you made the choice you made, but aren't thinking of their own kids at all, try something like this:
Other parent: So, I understand that M is in first grade now.
Me: Yes. We really like Ms. First Grade Teacher!
Other parent: How is it going?
Me: Great! It seems to be a much better placement for him.
Other parent: Was he really bored in Kindergarten?
**My addition: Well, yes, but my bigger problem was with how it was affecting his attitude and behavior. He had always loved school, and he suddenly hated it, plus he was consistently losing recess time, and this was a kid who had always followed the rules to the letter. It was pretty clear that we had to do something.
Turn the focus away from boredom and toward "we were solving a problem that anyone would agree had to be solved," and you lose the awkwardness. To this sort of statment, I have gotten lots of support, even from people who seem a little scared by the fact that I'm a homeschooler. I'd imagine selling skipping as the solution using this approach would be easy in comparison to selling HSing!
On the bright side, there are a relatively limited number of ways these sorts of conversations can go. Figure out your standard response to the Negative Nellies, the Curious Kittys, and the Just Making Conversation Julies (???) and you have pretty much mapped out how every conversation will ever go on the subject. People are not usually very creative in their reponses, at least not in my experience. Practice your pat answers and you'll use them often!
Does that make any sense? I'm not very on the ball today, so I'm not sure I'm being clear...
