Thanks Cadysmom. Yes. I think pointing out people like Disney, Seuss, Edison and others helps. I picked up a children's biography on Jacques Cousteau and apparently he got expelled from school for causing trouble. His parents knew he was bright though. There are tons of examples, usually males come immediately to mind.
I think the positive feedback loop is vital. I was working on some it today with defiance/mood issues (ie. do you like how you feel today or yesterday? How do you feel - mad, glad, sad, or bad? IF you take off, what is going to happen? Do you think I'm going to be happy or mad? Then - oh, you can listen and not take off when he doesn't take off and run amok. And then replacing that negative self-talk and thinking with positive self-talk and thinking. That kind of thing ad naseum to drum it in.
I read some of the The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David Burns today and that seemed to sink in. The previous owner left it in the house when we moved in last spring - quite a handy find and highly recommended! It's been a bestseller.
There's also free behavioral charts/worksheets online that may help for making friends, anxiety, peer issues, etc. (
http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/).
