We are working on vision therapy for our son and our doc asked me to read Fixing My Gaze by Susan Barry. As I've read I've been questioning.... Do I have vision problems? just wondering if others have thought the same and perhaps sought therapy for themselves.
I have severely limited vision with only a narrow window (mere inches) of near-sight without correction. I got glasses in 1st grade when they realized I could not see the board. I had awful handwriting despite having a mother who was an elementary school teacher with perfect writing. My vision deteriorated rapidly from there. In 3rd grade I could no longer see the big E on the chart any more. My vision stabilized after beginning to wear contacts in middle school.
As an adult after taking birth control pills for only one month my astigmatism changed from a 1 to a 4 over a period of several months during which time my rapidly shifting vision was impossible to correct. I was diagnosed with Keratoconus incorrectly during that time as corneal steepening is such a rare side effect of birth control pills that no one thought to question whether I had taken any. Keratoconus is such an awful disease that corneal transplants are often the only "cure" (at least at that time).
So I have always had "vision issues". But in addition, I have struggled mightily with concepts of direction and even left/right. I still sometimes have to check whether my hand makes an "L" to know it is my left.
The only class I ever struggled in was Physics. Vectors totally did me in and I failed the class. I retook it and only earned a C. I've always felt I had some issues with depth perception and was horrible at ball sports. I didn't drive till I was 20. Parking is a challenge for me though I have a perfect driving record.
I tanked the "processing speed" section of my IQ test the only time I took one in 5th grade. I remember doing the block design parts of the test and feeling so frustrated. The time ran out. I still could not "get it". I knew it was going very badly. I can still see the blocks in my memory and his flip chart with images that I could not replicate no matter how hard I tried.
I remember the tester explaining that although my other scores were incredibly high, the processing section had so lowered my score as to leave me just below qualifying for whatever program it was. I don't think there were FSIQs back then... at least there was no talk of that at the time. I wish I had copies of that report with what I know now.
I'm rather fascinated at Barry's explanation of "the spaces between" things in her book. I'm wondering... do I really see those spaces? Is that why it's hard to park or merge in traffic (I wait until I have very large margins of error) or generally judge distance, space, and directionality? I get lost easily. Especially in a new place. I have a lot of anxiety changing lanes and like to get in the lane I have to eventually be in and STAY THERE no matter how many miles it will be.
These things I've mentioned here make me feel "dumb" and "incompetent". I've seen the reactions of others over the years to my "deficits" and that has reinforced those feelings. There are times when I have questioned how intelligent I really am because of those things.
And as I sit here typing this it is striking to me that those are some of the fundamental impacts of twice exceptionality on our kids. Perhaps the bigger question is whether I am twice exceptional myself. I don't think I've ever paused to think about that and perhaps I should.
