Originally Posted by DeeDee
Originally Posted by aquinas
It's a real disservice to any child-- gifted or otherwise--not to offer an immersive, engaging environment. I wish more people understood that deprivation of intellectual stimulation is the mental equivalent of withholding food to children. They need all-encompassing nourishment and nurturing. Aargh!!

Just thinking this through, though:

If you look at the history of parenting, even parenting kids who turn out to contribute brilliantly to society, "all-encompassing nurturing" is extremely unusual. It's a trend of our time, but didn't exist much before now.

When I grew up it was normal to be turned loose to play outside for long periods; nobody thought my mother was failing to nurture me by not talking to me 15 hours a day. In some societies, they have the 6-year-olds doing a lot of housework and contributing to the family's sustenance by generating income or carrying water. I'm not sure that's the kind of nurture anybody here is practicing, but I don't think it's necessarily wrong either.

I totally agree about providing intellectual stimulation in principle, and I talk to my kids a ton; but I profoundly dislike what I see a lot of these days, the making of motherhood into a high-pressure, high-stakes enterprise that must be done a certain way.

DeeDee

I agree. Profoundly so.

I realized the other day, too, that as parents, we are-- even the best/most mindful of us-- preparing our children for adult roles that we can imagine them having.

Odds are stacked against us there-- dramatically so. They won't be doing what we imagined, by and large, and the fact is that the pressure in parenting "well" with multipotentiality in the picture is the stuff of which nervous breakdowns are made. Air traffic controlling has NOTHIN' on that.

I feel very blessed that whenever I poke my head into that particular rabbit hole, my DH kindly grabs me by the foot and hauls me back out again and delivers a wake-up call to my sheepish self.

Now, of course, having read Amy Chua's Tiger Mother memoir, I can sometimes shake MYSELF with "What are your dreams for Coco?"

wink

Just noting that I have found this a helpful de-escalation technique.

IMMV.


Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.